How can I let a waiter know that I liked their service but I won’t be tipping them? I’m against the idea of tipping and not that rich, when is the appropriate time to not tip?

falcon elizabeth - waiter

I would handle it the lawyer’s way: there is no law requiring you to tip, you did not pay the waiter so little that he needs the tip and you did not force the waiter to work there. Therefore, you are giving the waiter exactly the amount of money that they earn or you give him more just to wait for him to bring your change back. If they don’t, go right there and tell him that you gave him X (dollars probably for you) the meal was Y so you want X minus Y from him back.

Hint: I am german and we also have a tipping culture. Yet if you can handle social pressure – and even do something indirectly for tipping culture to change – you are better off not paying a tip.

Apart from that and even if you are not rich, tipping 10% of an average meal is not that much.

Why don’t girls hit on guys?

https://www.flickr.com/photos/thomashawk/140557579/

I think about this almost every day, so I already have some answers prepared.

  1. They are selfish. They want to be the ones to be able to reject you to feel better about themselves. If a woman hits on you and you don’t react the way she wants you to, she could feel rejection. And she does not want to feel rejection but at the same time couldn’t care less about you not wanting to feel rejection. In a woman’s mind, a man is mentally stable all the time, never has bad feelings, so to a woman it’s perfectly fine to not do anything.
  2. They are selfish. They don’t want to look desperate as in “having to approach a guy because I am not pretty enough that a guy approaches me”.
  3. They are selfish. They don’t need to hit on you, because other men hit on them.
  4. They are obnoxious, sometimes. Sometimes they pretend to be interested in you, just to tell you about a boyfriend when you initiate contact after that and to become distant. All they wanted was your attention, you gave it, now you “served your purpose”.
  5. They have double standards. Sometimes they do hit on guys, but in a way they would reject in the harshest manner if men did it to them. Example:
    1. She says, “Can I sit here” in a shy and timid voice. The guy says “Yeah sure” with a smile. If he says “Can I sit here” in a shy and timid voice, she will likely roll her eyes and say in the coldest, most distant way “yes” to then leave as soon as possible. She does this because of the last sentence of “1.”. No matter how many times she is being told that men have feelings too, are insecure too, it “does not compute” in her mind. She, the pathetic, fearful and lazy creature needs an animal to protect her against the bad world. If that animal is not there, she protects herself against this “subhuman”.

What’s the worst thing your parent has ever said to you?

https://www.flickr.com/photos/k-ideas/6853019171/in/photolist-brzvQX-2bLKB6n-4TyP9T-6fBbjd-2tEs2S-8ku9vW-dKurmC-dPGFBm-6BAxDh-8ktJPN-8ktJZA-dKumSN-dKuijf-cmjL1y-27zc9a-cTviij-cmjJYL-8krkTB-8ktQ2S-cmjKwq-8kuncC-dKoNmV-5WZ11V-cmjKK9-cTvhn9-8kr6Wg-Y4k9qN-aSyZzr-8kr7aV-8ktSLw-86wFVz-8kqBCa-8kud3h-cnp8To-8krn4k-8kqJ9Z-Kf7QT-awrpZK-cmjJtu-8kqGC8-dU4bgz-8kqHEx-8TAAoh-RRMxq1-5N4cxs-4TD1Jm-DmgcFC-5dYT9k-ptbeA-21cye21

“We do not like you if you use violence against other people”, while at the same time slapping me when I did not do what they wanted.

People in school found out quickly that I would never retaliate and therefore could do with me whatever they pleased. I told my parents and I got “We do not like you if you use violence against other people” while offering no working alternative.

When I finally said: “okay, then don’t like me.” and started doing martial arts against their will, the damage was already done.

What is some advice that you thought was good at first, but turned out to be bad advice?

https://www.flickr.com/photos/duda_arraes/9110945178/in/photolist-eT6YzG-2Y7FGy-hZF26c-5XpduC-nP3Rob-egnkuU-bdiibX-gJcqG7-4u6MKa-89nFia-oaHkrN-5zCjgo-opou6x-aFkUG4-4wpgH-2FVJWc-6wbE7B-Co6uA-4cdz51-2E32hV-4UirZc-a4FpM-dRuyd-dfRtv-4JtEDh-4xucoj-6JgGA5-a2g5HF-qbgBz8-b7R8LX-6Cj1cF-nUCZwy-aXJ9Ae-ovKNY9-b5gWja-54dLFX-8xtxPK-f9Jjxv-dfqfiL-22c7KY-pU4ngk-5GsCm3-3eU8HG-35WDQ-7cccHh-4cE6Qp-58ASjJ-kH6DQ-4n25fT-6TYiQE

Say “Stop harassing me” when being pestered in public

First I thought that saying “Stop harassing me” out loud in public was a good means to draw negative public attention to someone to make him feel ashamed and to stop doing what he did.

I realized a few things after I did it

  1. It puts you into a position of a victim. “I am being pestered by someone, it is being done to me”
  2. It says “help me, I cannot handle it myself” to bystanders, who wouldn’t help you anyways but it also shows to them, that you are weak(er than you really are) and they might try to bully you on top of it.
  3. This all combined works even less when you are male and say this.

It works well, if you are

  1. female
  2. in danger
  3. in dire need of external help

Therefore, as a man, you should rather say things like “You know, talking like this will lead to events, that I won’t be proud of” implying that you will use physical force against him without saying it.

What do you say to a rude vegan who attacks you for eating meat?

https://www.flickr.com/photos/ellaolsson/43779431832/in/photolist-29GD2Qd-eyrhVx-nNKE62-bvpEiY-h2HYrf-7djbNy-7yjFvG-cucQ2-7vZjr4-7LmVbF-brsm1-bMGuDc-5FThV4-78RDPC-78RDQ7-DgFBP-anzizi-5udtTM-58XDRU-fiXvT-3u7Ss-39cZGB-4zGrsZ-n76JU-71VYUk-5hh5Qv-5wR4ks-CFHBsg-oaBGLR-9JybEV-anfmdf-7njeBx-7avbSc-fA8y3-7azQGd-qm4T2-kAKTuf-78RDPy-8Sw38A-8q4pd4-9pfjep-7L8ELK-9e1k25-6TnMjs-22kkg4V-62Yi67-5UeZd5-Zssa8b-9UA2v2-9BHzaj

I don’t like to say this often, but you have to change the topic or leave. They do not care about you, they have insecurities and are triggered.

If I feel like it, I say “I gotta go get my tasty cheese burger right now, you should try a whopper once, the one with three beef patties in it. I think I’ll order one aswell.” And if I am really aiming at taking the piss at her(it’s mostly women) I’d add “You know, when the animal suffers and screams before dying, it loses some fat and tastes better; I only eat meat of animals that had suffered before they died. There’s a great butchery that offers this kind of meat as a delicacy. I’ll text you their address, you will love it. Bye.”

Those women will heat up like “Anger” in the movie “Inside Out”. Hilarious.

How can intelligent people be gullible?

https://www.flickr.com/photos/akc77/35514072521/in/photolist-W7fUtc-9T46j7-ngMNV-6udiXa-joKvPm-69189h-da38JH-MkxacH-9Puvud-e7M4Nk-h44WE-abvKVE-cs7qmE-avqKZh-6GL1n-dqxP7X-7j39uf-93hcp-5xpFAG-7zt5mv-D4ZGCU-dnYYDi-66C14b-61WyMs-5Wf1UD-4ahVUN-NDUEcp-f9yNQg-6uPPY4-9v2gVj-8sLPko-6y5LXB-bPAaex-8Z17G2-ebRAMa-eSLGH2-6aZuSK-4QzKWa-81EihU-6em8B3-9zdtVy-3ffRZ3-Z6GfNL-9zak1e-4soCvk-6YdbN1-3VtsrX-9zath8-hujWM-64sHeW

Intelligence is the ability to learn, understand, and make judgments or have opinions that are based on reason.

This is an emotionally cold matter. The more intelligent you are, the less emotional warmth you feel. Everything has two sides. The more you know, the less things are just good. Everything has a downside.

This makes you sad and depressed.

Then you start neglecting the negatives. You start saying things like: “Yes, there are bad people on this planet. But I feel bad assuming they were all around me. I just assume nice people and rather do I get disappointed than shutting my natural openness down.”

But there is also a lazyness to it. If I trust everyone, I don’t have to think myself.

Warum wird das dritte Geschlecht (Divers/Unisex) in der Öffenlichkeit nicht wirklich anerkannt?

https://www.flickr.com/photos/ericparker/27121911769/in/photolist-HjETsr-ZTz4ZM-SqEkYq-R8DZdC-UAGqwq-2bD6Hf3-29TkmjW-2cBtL6w-29vHUPN-2ae7Rfh-2afLZw5-2cKqiK3-2afLwhA-2cVdU5u-QRMMA9-NZKTuK-2cVaJX7-2ad8Fkb-2bTxCgQ-ZK5BXV-2bqLUav-2cDX3c2-NTGwiZ-2cNADhv-Nh3wU5-UUjmHc-DTCXNt-2cKtbpW-2auCvXG-29Tjpcb-hH18FU-2bGzPmY-pPk836-2d55PJg-2cDWTQc-E84ifh-VTYLCg-W8QqNn-2bqLU4t-VvnVUo-29bbHEX-2aNhcJ8-5RfLXy-2bPLiZN-VwajM7-otM5Qs-VwXohw-28vAVu4-2bgaYXv-qtEocp

Es gibt kein drittes Geschlecht. Es gibt allerdings psychisch kranke Menschen mit einer Identitätsstörung, denen man psychologisch helfen kann.

Wenn dein Vater Schizophrenie hat und Aliens sieht, die andere nicht wahrnehmen, ist es der falsche Weg, alle gesunden Menschen zu zwingen, an Aliens zu glauben, damit sich dein Vater nicht ausgeschlossen fühlt, sondern deinem Vater zu helfen, wieder klar zu sehen.

I’m 14-years-old. I threw a birthday party and nobody showed up except my parents and one cousin. Why has this happened? What should I do?

https://www.flickr.com/photos/timsamoff/15161361/in/photolist-2kGWM-6TQeJd-5Y9PzH-b8657n-nqegmH-EDwPf-2kHda-7nXLkF-nvoHbg-7pG3S2-chzn-LciV1-Pdbc2-zy6Mg-4LSv6x-BhJNEA-8JNcR5-9piCUN-fyxjuL-5brjp7-5UYMx8-9SyiR3-de7t6b-4ckSf1-WKdmLr-9mtAak-738hy7-EDwPm-25BFXcJ-26ReUcc-8TorzY-okSvMS-9AuXrj-7By1Gr-7o2EMh-fCQ3v-5eLmfs-5d1ns-6XbwBR-aGqYBk-2hovoy-5bRqhQ-WT2FXX-hVxFd6-DmHVZK-3MoWPx-bYfvh-8pqJPJ-6uXW3-6g8Asi

The following is my serious suggestion:

  1. Go find a quiet place and express your emotions, cry if you want to.
  2. Now ask yourself:
    1. Did everyone get your invitation?
    2. Now call only the one you missed the most and ask him or her, why he/she did not come? Now comes the important part: Listen to the tone of his/her voice.
      1. If it is genuine and there is a genuine excuse, build upon that.
      2. If anything is fishy about it, do not call him/her again, end the friendship and avoid them in the future.
      3. If you go to voicemail, do not call him/her again, end the friendship and avoid them in the future.
  3. Get and read Dale Carnegie: How to win and influence people.